Spectral COMEDY | Season 2, Episode 1.
Today, I Fucked Up (Ep. 11) "TIFU by reporting a claim that there were guns in a school building" by throwaway1901849032
I'd like to thank throwaway1901849032 for letting me use this story.
TIFU by reporting a claim that there were guns in a school building
As keeping with tradition this fuck up happened a few days ago. I was in lab and looking through some drawers looking for something to wipe my nib off with. I get this drawer that's blocked by a cabinet door that doens't close all the way because there's a mess that nobody's cleaned up open and find a napkin. I wipe my nib off and keep it for later. Around the end of class I notice realize I should probably check the napkin for boogers or some other gross stuff and find a note. "Weapons in room 358, closet 19, key in Rdradiator" and it lists some guns with little drawings of some guns. Now the thing looks like it's been sitting there for a while but I decide I should probably report it. I go down to guidance and it's the beginning of the school year so they're busy with something and I'm told that they'll be visiting classes tomorrow and to talk to them then.
Tomorrow comes and I hand in the note. At first it seems like nothing's gonna happen but then someone hurries into our room and makes a call. Next period I get brought out of the classroom by security. He seems to not know what's going on I explain what happened. I get brought down to the dean's office for questioning. I explain what happened and get told I'm going to be searched. I'm asked if I have anything to hand over and I look through my bag and hand over my lighter, my backup lighter in my bag, and a deck of cards. I ask if I'm going to get those back and just get explained that I'm not getting in trouble for any of that. They come in and search me and I get asked to show my handwriting. I show my notepad and I use very small grid paper and a fine gel pen to write and it doesn't match the note at all. They start looking through my bag and find 2 old notebooks I carry around. One's for practicing shorthand and the other's an expensive one that has high quality paper so that I can practice calligraphy without the ink bleeding. Before it was a calligraphy notebook I used it as a general notebook. They look through it and they somehow match my handwriting to it. A lot of it is sloppily written and the note's sloppily written and instead of actually analyzing the letters and finding pretty much none if them written the same way they just say that it matches. At this point the room's filled with a dean, the principal, and at least 5 school security. I start getting accused of writing it and the dean even tells me to just admit I did it. I didn't do it and am getting pretty upset that all it is happening just because I reported a note I found.
I get taken to an adjacent room and sit there for 5 hours while my parents are called to be brought in. Just when I think it might be over they tell me that there's talk about calling an ambulance. I'm not injured in any way and it's been confirmed that there's no guns in the reported room which makes me just a lot more annoyed since I didn't even prevent anything. I assume the only thing I can think of and it's that I'm going to be brought into a mental asylum. I'm told that's pretty much what the ambulance is for. Eventually the ambulance comes and I get driven to the hospital. Now at this point I'm still not exactly sure why I'm going but I know it's for a psych evaluation. There's a cop on board complaining about how long this is taking like he's the one that should be annoyed by all this. On board he tells the guy in the back what's going on and I figure out what happened. He says that they found a note in my notebook and the guy asks to see my notebook. I give it to him and he reads the note. I don't know what they're talking about so I ask to see the note and he doesn't allow me. I see a bit of the format it's written in and I know what the note is. A while ago I was trying to get straight 100's because I'm told that I need decent grades to get into college. This meant in my head that I needed to kiss up to teachers and this was killing me. I was writing down my thoughts to try and figure out what I should do. Keep kissing up or study or give up on college. Now I've never been depressed or suicidal but since the school found this note I assume they decided I was and make me take a psych evaluation. We get to the hospital and they take my vitals and stuff. My heart rate that's normally around 80 (I know I'm a bit out of shape) and it's at 102.
Now we get to what looks like a decontamination room or something. There's three chairs and a security camera and nothing else in the room. I'm told to take everything out of my pockets and give up everything but my clothes. I don't get to keep my jacket so not even all of my clothes. I give over everything including my wristwatch, phone, and kindle. They take it all and I'm asked to take a seat. I assume that that was some sort of disarming room just in case someone might actually be suicidal and kill themselves with something and wait. The room's designed so that you can't escape and the knobs are shaped weird but it looks like they're designed so you can't hurt yourself on them. Now all of this but there's 3 maybe 50 pound metal chairs with sharp bases and I can see places where they plastered over some holes in the wall. Basically it's a shittily designed room for what it's designed for. I sit there assuming that I'm going to be brought to a doctor soon and we can get it all cleared up soon. I wait and with nothing do I stare at a smear on the opposite wall for about an hour. Every hour or so someone comes into the room and asks me a bunch of questions that I've told them the answers to multiple times before. After the first hour I change my glace to the doorknob for another hour. This continues for about 3 hours. Now this room basically slightly worse than solitary confinement. at least with those rooms you get a toilet, sink, and bed. Here I get 3 chairs. Now I mentioned them taking away my wristwatch earlier and it starts getting relevant around the hour and a half point. I look at my wrist and remember that they took my watch away. I look around the room and there are no clocks. There are three windows. Two attached to the doors and one where they can look in at me from the hub. I can't see a clock from any of these and we're too far in the building for sunlight to leak in so I can't even generalize. Around the third hour they bring in a kid in a wheelchair that makes some sort of screaming sound every 5 seconds or so. I'm stuck in a room with no way to tell how much time's passed with nothing to but listen to some kid scream so I'm starting to go a bit nuts.
I ask them for a plate with no food on it but I guess that sounded like a weird request so they wouldn't give me one. I ask for a plastic cup from a stack I can see through a window and they at least give me that. I tear it into strips and entertain myself by playing ultimate tic tack toe with myself. Before I forget to mention it I should say around the 2nd hour they tell me that there's TV. I ask what they have and I'm told I can watch teen titans go, disney channel or the news. All of that sounds awful so I tell them to leave it off. They turn it on anyways a bit later and I can only assume it was so that I couldn't hear whatever they were saying about me outside. Tic tac toe gets boring after I have trouble remembering which square is next and who's turn it was and I just sit there again. Afterwards I'm told that I'm discharged because strangely enough there's nothing wrong with me /s. Turns out that I was there for 4 hours to make it a nice even 9 hours of sitting in rooms and being stressed the fuck out because I decided to hand in a note I found in a drawer.
DYMABASE's Spectral COMEDY is a series of videos full of narrations of funny stories found on Reddit
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