Spectral COMEDY | Season 1, Episode 15.
Today, I Fucked Up (Ep. 7) "TIFU By Calling Out a Preteen's Fake Yeezys while I was at Work" by montegavbro
I'd like to thank montegavbro for letting me use this story.
TIFU By calling out a preteen's fake Yeezys while I was at work.
(Yes this happened today :) Living in the suburbs for summer break gives me free time, visits with friends and family, and nostalgia. But this year, it gave me too much free time. I got a job as a lifeguard at a local pool. I'm not lazy, I'm rarely late, I follow the rules, but I'm not too much of a stickler. I actually enjoy talking to a lot of the people that come and use the pool.
And here we are today, moderately hot, very sunny and windy, and I'm working 10am to 9pm five to six days a week. A lot of lifeguards rely on the weather to give them hope that our manager will hear thunder, but the people who work almost everyday put aside that small chance, and what we hope for is that the pool isn't crowded. It was 12:45pm, and we blew the whistle for "adult swim" (16yo and over) which ends at 1:00.
One young kid, maybe 7, was in a snorkel, with his head underwater, and I know many kids pretend like they can't hear the whistle, but I honestly believe this kid either didn't hear it, or didn't know what it meant. Meanwhile, an older boy, maybe 11-12, walks over. He tells me that they're brothers, and that he will help me get his attention. We start, with me whistling and the boy calling his name, and sometime during that, the boy notices that I'm wearing Gucci slides. I got them secondhand for an amazing price and I wear them a lot. He then adjusts his body so I can see him, and I notice he's not wearing a swimsuit. He's got a black and grey hoodie on, black joggers, and what looks like a pair of Yeezy Boost 350 V2.
This is where I really fuck up. I immediately notice that the ankle part of the shoe looks more like a low top converse shoe than the rounded, comfortable, Primeknit support of the real Yeezys. I'm up on a high chair with sunglasses, so I take them off, and the sole of the shoe looks like it's made of plastic. It's also a strange hue of light gray that does not correlate with any of the all black Yeezys. I stop thinking and just talk...
"I like your style dude, your shoes look nice, but I think they might be replicas." He listens as his joyous smile fades. I didn't want to tell him how I knew unless he asked. I already regretted what I did.
He perks up and asks."Well, how do you know?" Ugh. I feel horrible. I tell him the dirty details as gentle as I can. He seems much more convinced now.
At this point the whistle had blown again and I was on break. I got off of the chair and kept talking to the boy. Soon, his mom walks over and joins in. The boy looks extremely anxious, almost like he is about to burst. His mom starts making small talk with me about my job and then he blows.
"Mom are these real adidas Yeezys?!" He shouts, releasing his pent up anxiety.
His mom looks confused "Well they're on your feet, of course they're real." She replies, being so cliché that it's almost believable she has no idea what a "real" vs "fake" shoe is. For those who don't know, it's like going to a flea market and buying a "Louis Vuitton" bag from a luggage vendor. Chances are that it is a cheaply made, but still usable replica or spin-off of the original (expensive) design by Louis Vuitton.
As she stands there, confident in her previous statement, her son is at his worst. Because of me and what I said, his reality just revealed itself as flawed, and he is slowly realizing it.
He turns to me with his arms crossed and says, "She got me these for my birthday. But something happened with shipping and they got here three weeks late." I can tell that he is coming to a conclusion in his head. "Mom? Where did you buy these?" I braced myself.
"I got them on eBay, because the eBay title was the same as the title on the website you(the son) showed me. It was also a lot cheaper. From what I saw, buying em used for less than $100 seemed to be the best bet." She was again, adamant in her statement, but soon after she proved that point, the boy began to tear up. He started going off on her about fakes and how much they ruin the "game". The boy was so emotional that we couldn't understand most of what he was ranting about, and so I had to help explain to the Mom what he was going on about. She was shocked and confused (as most people are who don't know about sneakers) about the prices and the limited availability and the fakes. And then my 30 minute break was up.
What really gets me with this fuck up, is that he could have just kept wearing them with pride, he could have learned they were fakes years later. He's too young for anyone to be pointing out that he's wearing fake designer. I feel horrible.
DYMABASE's Spectral COMEDY is a series of videos full of narrations of funny stories found on Reddit
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