Spectral COMEDY | Episode 23
Reddit's I Don't Work Here Lady (IDWHL) #5
A video containing a single long I Don't Work Here Lady (IDWHL) story from Reddit.
I like to thank labtc for letting me use this story
Title: She wanted to speak to my manager, so I called the person who manages my life.
She wanted to speak to my manager, so I called the person who manages my life.
This happened yesterday, I was in Canadian Tire, for all of you non-Canadians It's like a mix between a Wal-Mart, a home depot, a bass pro shops, and an auto shop. I was wearing jeans and an old red polo shirt. The employees there wear black pants and a red polo with a triangle and maple leaf logo on the chest.
I was getting wipers for my car because mine aren't clearing the rain off my window anymore... It's a riveting story.
They have this touch screen thing there where you select the vehicle and it tells you the specific sizes you need for each wiper and brand. I was fiddling with the screen and going through the different sizes and makes of wipers and reading reviews on each one (I research everything before I buy it, drives my wife crazy) I hear someone behind me say excuse me. I think she wants to use the screen to figure out what wiper to buy, so I move to the section that has the wiper brand I'm interested in and start looking for the size I need.
My assumption was wrong.
She followed me to where I was now poking through the very badly stocked wipers.
From now on I'll be ME, and she'll be douchecanoe, which I'll shorten to DC.
DC: "Why did you walk away from me, that's very rude."
I didn't even know she was talking to me at this point. So I kept looking at wipers.
DC: " This is unbelievable! I'm talking to you."
I finally click in that I'm the one she's talking to. So I stupidly turn to face her while gripping a 28 inch wiper like a toddler holds a crayon. ME: "You talking to me?"
DC: "Yeah you. I need to know what size wiper to get for my Mercedes."
ME: "That's what the screen is for." I said as I gesture towards it with the wiper in my hand and go back to searching for the second elusive 28 incher.
DC: "You are terrible at your job, this isn't proper customer service." She said all huffy.
ME: " Umm, I don't work here. I'm gonna go back to this now."
DC: "I want to speak to your manager right now. This isn't how you treat customers. Ignoring me and refusing to help me, its disgraceful." At this point she kind of stomps off, but only a few aisles away, and the aisles in the automotive department aren't full height ones, they are like chest height so you can see right across the whole department. She just does a few laps of the aisles around where I am, she's looking all over the place for a manager but not going far, I think so she doesn't lose sight of me.
ME: "Still don't work here. So going to be hard to find that manager... and you're not listening to me... ok... " I say to her and trail off as she's obviously not caring at all. I go back to my wipers.
While she's on her walk I find my wiper and start to head towards the check outs. She chases me down and gets in front of me, trying to stop my escape before a manager gets there.
DC: "No! You're not allowed to leave until I speak to your manager about you!"
I've had enough of this buffoon. I pull out my phone and call my manager. I'm self employed, so I call the one person in my life who could reasonably be called my manager. The wife, henceforth referred to as BOSS.
ME: "I'll call her for you, you aren't going to be able to find her here."
I put it on speaker phone so the crazy lady can hear. As the phone rings she's giving me this superior smirk like I'm about to get my ass chewed out.
ME: "Hey, how's the trip going? (She's on a business trip)
BOSS: "Great, been having a some excellent meetings with the L3's (VP level people). What's up?"
ME: " Picking up some wipers."
BOSS: "And you're so jazzed about them that you needed to call me in the middle of the day?"
DC is getting really frustrated at this point, I'm obviously not getting to the me getting fired fast enough for her.
ME: "Nope, got a lady here at Canadian Tire who wants to talk to my manager. I kind of thought you're the closest thing to that. Want to talk to her?"
BOSS: "What the hell Labtc?! Am I on speaker phone?"
ME: "Oh yeah, the crazy lady can hear you, how else is she supposed to talk to my manager? Say hi to the crazy lady."
DC is finally starting to realize that I don't have a store logo on my shirt, and that maybe I'm not an employee.
BOSS: "You're such a jackass. I'm sorry ma'am, my husband is an idiot. But he doesn't work there." I start to laugh at this point.
ME: "It's cool hun, she seems kind of slow or something. She probably doesn't realize I'm laughing at her." I say through my laughter while DC makes some kind of appalled noise from the back of her throat and stalks off.
I managed to get my wipers and leave the store after that without any further incident. My wife thinks I was mean to her. I say I was fighting stupidity with dumbassery.
DYMABASE's Spectral COMEDY is a series of videos full of narrations of funny stories found on Reddit
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